Eek!*

Twas a late Sunday night and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a ----

Well, that's not entirely true.

On this particular Sunday, I overdid the Sleepytime tea before going to bed, so a couple hours into my slumber, I awoke to go to the bathroom. Bleary-eyed and groggy, I made my way down our long, dark hallway toward the bathroom. As I reached for the light switch, amidst the moonlight pouring into our bathroom, I caught a glimpse of a little creature scurrying across the bathroom floor. I thought to myself: (1) it must be my imagination, (2) that was the single largest bug I have ever laid eyes on, or (3) we have mice.

Now with the lights on, I could confirm exactly what had darted across the floor. I peered behind the toilet for a closer look, only to find a mouse staring back at me! Immediately I let out a squeal much like the same pitch we hear outside our windows every night as fire engines cruise by (which is the only explanation I have for why Kimmmm remained asleep). Then, I ran back down the hallway to my bedroom where I screamed again and jumped onto my bed (and Kimmmm remained asleep).

Now that I was safe and sound back in my bedroom (with my door closed), I slowly came to my senses and realized something had to be done. After all…

• I guess I'm bigger than him.
• He was kinda cute in that had-I-seen-this-small-disease-carrying-rodent-in-his-natural-habitat-rather-than-my-home-in-the-middle-of-the-night sorta way.
• What if he has friends & family hiding elsewhere?
• This. Is. MY. HOUSE!
  

As I ventured back to the bathroom to further investigate our little houseguest, he darted out of the bathroom and down the hallway, where he hid behind the washer and dryer. Knowing I could do very little at this point, I admitted defeat, vowing that we would be back.

The next day, I updated Kimmm with my traumatic experience, and she immediately purchased not one, not two, not three, but FOUR mousetraps. And not the old fashioned mousetraps that snap the neck of the mouse for a quick and painless death. Instead, she purchased dCON, which I can only assume are mini gas chambers for mice. First, they lure the mouse into a cozy warm place filled with peanut butter as far as the eye can see. Then, without warning, the mouse gets very sleepy, then suddenly cannot breathe and finds itself gasping for air. It has just enough time to call for its other friends and family that most likely reside in our home to come and visit him just before he is gone. They join him in the cozy and warm unit to also experience the slow and painful death. And so ends the mouse episode.

Well, so much for speculation. It has been a few weeks that we have our strategically placed dCON units throughout the house. And NOTHING. Not even so much as an attempt to eat the peanut butter. Naturally, I would assume the mouse made its way back outdoors. This, however, is not the case for I have seen our little friend in the kitchen. Which strikes me as incredibly ironic that the mouse chooses our kitchen to hibernate. (If you so much as know us, you can understand why. To say "we cook once a month" is giving us too much credit.) Talk about a letdown for the mouse! For as much credit I give our smart mouse for avoiding all the traps, it sure is pretty stupid for staying in a home that keeps the little food the house has in the fridge or freezer. Perhaps it will starve to death. I wonder if PETA approves the starvation method of killing mice. (Seems as though they have a list of approved methods). I think starvation would be pretty painful and it definitely encourages a prolonged death, but at the same time, I REFUSE to go grocery shopping to improve the livelihood of the mouse.

And so we wait.

It's been about a week since I've seen the mouse, but I know he's still there waiting for another surprise attack. I do not think he's satisfied unless my heart rate quadruples at the mere sight of him. Well, I'm hoping I'll get the last laugh, because today in the mail, I received my eagerly anticipated Electronic Pest Repeller Ultimate AT! Now, Kimmmm & I have to decide an appropriate time to begin said pest repelling. Turns out, within the first week you plug in the device, the critter activity, whether they be rodents or bugs, drastically increases. That's right. The unit that has an intended purpose of repelling bugs and rodents actually brings them out of the woodwork when it begins. Then, overtime, they are supposed to find their way out of your home for good.

I know one thing for certain --- we want all pests out of our home for good. But, at what cost? What if it takes more than a week of pest activity? More importantly, what kind of pest activity? I've heard everything from mice to rats to squirrels to roaches. I envision plugging the Pest Repeller in one night, then waking up in a scene from Jumanji. Is it really that farfetched? The possibilities are endless! Especially after I read a recent article (read here) about the rats that used to reside around Eastern Market before the fire, have since found new homes in the nearby neighborhood. WHAT?!! We ARE the nearby neighborhood. I did NOT sign up for this. When I heard that people living in DC had mice problems, I just assumed it was something people said. Now I know, it is not only something people say, but it is without a doubt, something people live.

For now, we are simply trying to figure out a week in which we'll both be out of town, and we can let the Pest Repeller create all the activity it needs.

* Eek: The sound a mouse makes. Or, the sound I make upon seeing a mouse.