BEST Betsy Ross EVER

On Saturday, I headed over to Philadelphia, the city of Brotherly Love, which surprisingly enough is not located in West Virginia. There were several items on the agenda of Philadelphia, including attending the Philadelphia Flower Show, seeing the Real World House, gorging on cheesesteak and fries, ringing the Liberty Bell, and running up the steps to the museum like Rocky did in that movie while singing "Eye of the Tiger".

Being the spontaneous individuals that we are, we only deviated from this plan slightly. Although never featured on MTV, the Betsy Ross Museum and grave is right next door to the Real World house. It really surprises me that the drunken 20 somethings that appeared on an MTV reality television show where they were encouraged to engage in as much public debauchery as possible, didn't spend more time in Philadelphia exploring the colonial history that was three feet from their front door.

Phillip and Mike had already done the tour of the Betsy Ross museum and house, so we popped over to her grave to pay our respects to the Mother of Liberty, who although made a significant contribution to modern day America in the form of a flag, but never had the chance to vote.

If you actually go into the museum, you will learn all sorts of fun Betsy Ross facts such as the fact that she pioneered the five pointed star, because if you knew how to fold fabric like Betsy Ross, it was possible to make a five point star with a single snip of the scissors. Obviously, a single snip of the scissors per star is a genius move, saving Betsy Ross oodles of time and creating massive amounts of efficiency for our fledgling democracy.

Now, you may be asking yourself, what did Betsy Ross do with all of her spare time? Make more flags? Ride horses and put up torches on churches, one if by land, two if by sea? Cast the Liberty Bell? Draft the Declaration of Independence?

She did none of these things. Instead, she got around.

That's right, history and public education has conveniently forgotten to mention the fact that Betsy Ross was a common revolutionary trollup. She was married thrice, putting her among the ranks of other pop culture trollups such as Elizabeth Taylor, Liza Minnelli, and Larry King.

Anyway, I can just imagine how the old timey picking up of Betsy Ross would happen. I picture her sitting at the bar in Ye Olde Ale Pub of Liberty located catty corner to Independence Square, drinking ale, chowing down on cheesesteak, as an old timey revolutionary sidles on up next to her. Betsy probably looked over at him coyly, eyes peeking out from under her flouncy old timey bonnet and said something along the lines of, "So, is that a musket in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

And as they say, the rest is history.

Special thanks to Philli for the Betsy Ross pickup line. Comments with Betsy Ross pickup lines are highly encouraged.