BEST Depends Customer EVER

Friday night, I found myself out in Dupont Circle with a couple friends, and I was getting ready to relocate up the Red Line to Cleveland Park. I must have been feeling green peacey as I opted to take the metro instead of a cab.

Well, I'm just minding my own business, several sheets to the wind, as I began to take a rather intoxicated and bleary eyed scan over the other passengers of the half-full train. I glanced over to a mighty large fellow that had sprawled out over an entire metro seat. He was alone (not that anyone else could fit on the seat) and he had fallen asleep. But I didn't think much of it because that's what people tend to do in a half-full metro in the later hours.

Then, as I began to look away, that's when I spotted it. He was undeniably soaking wet all around his man parts! He completely wet himself. So I sat there with my jaw dropped open, realizing that everyone else around him had taken notice and shared the same look of disgust. I quickly jumped out of my seat and headed to the metro doors even before the train approached my stop. All the while, I wondered who last peed on my seat.

So to all of you that are enjoying your comfortable metro seats in the morning while I am slammed up against the door and seven complete strangers with my laptop squeezed between my feet, it looks like I win after all. I have no problem, in fact, I encourage you to keep your urine-saturated metro seats!