BEST Conspired Bouquet Toss EVER

Well, it's official. My little sister, Becky, tied the knot this past weekend.

A great time was had by all, thanks to the mastermind (my mom) behind the whole ordeal. And, perhaps the free-flowing mojitos had a little to do with it.

While the wedding and reception are always great times, the preparation seems to cause a lot of undue stress. This is why I have recently pronounced my desire for a "no-frills wedding." Perhaps on a mountain. Or on a beach in the Caribbean. Or Australia (you know, where I plan to meet my Aussie husband).

Anyhow, Kimmmmm is on board with this grand plan, and she has volunteered her culinary expertise to assist in my "no-frills wedding." She will be preparing her very best dishes, including a variety of Hot Pockets, pita and hummus, Buffalo wing dip, veggie burgers, rice, steamed vegetables, pizza bagels, and ice cream. Nothing but class. And, it's pretty fair to say that she has some time to perfect these delicacies before I will call upon her services.

Well, that's what I thought until Saturday night. It was time for the dreaded "let's see who's still single" part of the evening. That's right, the bouquet toss. Fortunately for me, most of the girls at the wedding were also single, so I was not the lone contender. Okay, onto the toss…. Becky turns away from the ladies. And I swear, in slow motion, it happened. Every other girl stepped back and in perfect aim, the bouquet floated straight into my arms. Yes, the girl who cannot commit to watching Lost has been deemed the next bride. Typically, the competitive streak in me would have thought of this as a "win." But when everybody else backs away to protect their destiny, is it really a win?

So, I did what any other single gal would do. I text Kimmmmm at Bonnaroo to tell her of the events that had just developed. Our correspondence went something like this:

Me: Guess who caught the bouquet? @&*#. Don't you worry. I'm still swingin' single.
Kimmmm: Sorry about the bouquet. I'll buy a case of Hot Pockets.