Tainted*

Let me set the stage.

I work on a client in the District. When I'm thirsty for a refreshing glass of water, I have two options: (1) Risk drinking DC tap water from one of the many drinking fountains, or (2) Pay dues to become a member of the Water Club. I chose the latter. As a member of the Water Club, I have unlimited access to a water cooler filled with fresh, clean, non-DC, filtered water. It is worth the $5 monthly dues to know that every sip I take does not come fortified with minerals, such as lead and rocket fuel.

Well, since I have been traveling for work and not physically present at said client, I was not able to pay July dues for the Water Club. Upon returning to the client this week, as the temperature climbed near 100-degrees, the Water Club Manager was not around to collect the dues, so I was not permitted to drink from the cooler. I figured I would make due and resort to other beverages to get me through the week. Everything went as planned, until yesterday. I was dying for a glass of water. And not a 16.9 oz bottle, I wanted to fill my entire 32 oz Nalgene.

I had quite the dilemma on my hands. I could not risk drinking from the Club's water cooler if I had not paid my monthly dues. But could I really risk drinking from the DC water fountain? Wellllll, I decided to throw in the towel and go for it. I headed over to the nearby fountain and topped off my 32 oz bottle. Then, I added a little Green Tea To Go mixture to mask the taste, and I was good to go.

As I gulped down the last drop, I knew it was worth the risk.

Until I picked up the Express this morning. On the front page, staring right back at me: