BEST Cable Hookup EVER

Flashback to January 2006. Kimmmm and I move (yet again) to a new home. In doing so, we make all the necessary arrangements for our utilities.

Electricity? …..Check.

Gas? …..Check.

Phone? …..Check.

Cable? Not so fast.

A few weeks before the move, I called the cable company to arrange a specific time for the Cable Guy to stop by and do what it is they do to officially set-up our cable. That time came and passed. We never saw said Cable Guy, but when we turned on the TV, we miraculously had cable. Like any other reasonable person, we assumed they were able to take care of it without ever entering our apartment.

A couple months pass, and we pay a couple months worth of utility bills. All utility bills except for cable. That's interesting. I figure I better give the cable company a ring to make sure our bill was not lost in the mail.

Me: Hi. I'd like to pay my cable bill for the past couple months, but I have yet to receive a bill.

Cable Guy: Okay, what is your account number?

Me: I'm not sure.

Cable Guy: You can find it on your bill in the mail.

Me: I'm not receiving bills. That's why I'm calling.

Cable Guy: You can set-up an account online and pay that way.

Me: I tried paying online and it asked me the same thing. How do I figure out my account number?

Cable Guy: You can find it on your bill.

Me: Sigh. Yes, but I am not receiving bills.

This vicious cycle continued for close to an eternity.

Me: Well, can I give you other information to retrieve my account number?

Cable Guy: Okay. Let's try that.

I proceed to give him my name, address, phone number, SSN, first born…

Cable Guy: It looks like you do not have any account with us.

Me: But I have cable.

Cable Guy: Hmmmmm.

Me: Can you just turn it off since I'm not getting a bill from you?

Cable Guy: We'd have to do that from the outside of your building.

Please note that we live in a building of about 500 units. For them to turn off cable, they would be angering 499 other units.

Me: Interesting.

Cable Guy: Interesting.

Me: So, am I going to get a cable bill 10 months down the road?

Cable Guy: You do not have an account with us.

Me: Yeah, I think we've established that.

Free cable. I like it. If anything, it will take a little sting out of the pain of writing ridiculous rent checks. And I can sleep at night, too, knowing I tried my best to pay for it!

Fast forward to present day. Kimmmm and I have been enjoying 10 months of free cable. Until Thursday night. We really only watch TV on one night. For one-half hour. For one particular show. That show being The Office. It is approximately 20 minutes into the show, when suddenly out of nowhere, Karma reared its ugly head at us. The show went fuzzy, but the sound quality was fine and we could still make out what was happening.

Me (laughing hysterically): That's just great! Do you think they shut off our cable? Our free cable?
Kimmmm (also laughing hysterically): No, it's probably happening all around the building. I'll check the TVs in the workout facility.

Kimmmm returns from the workout facility to inform me that all of the televisions have perfect cable.

Just then, we hear a little shuffling noise at the door. We hear that noise pretty often as advertisements are regularly shoved under our door. Kimmmm walks over to the door to pick up the latest piece of trash. But before she tossed it into the trashcan, she turned around choking on her laughter and said, "It's for cable."

Coincidence? I think not.

I cannot wait to receive our cable bill for the past 10 1/2 months.